The real answer to Domestic Violence...

When I read about the death of Lori Rivera I flashed back to my own personal experiences and those of others who I have known who have faced domestic violence. While I understand what Lourdes Santiago was trying to do with her press conference yesterday, I also have to point out that the reporting of Domestic Violence statistics is alone not going to be the answer. It states in the Blade article that:

Sherrie Johnston, owner of University Security, said Ms. Rivera complained to her officers repeatedly about Mr. Richardson, but the security company was let go because the building's owners could no longer afford to pay the bill.

Even if that is true, complaining to a Security Company is not going to end Domestic Violence. Like many victims Lori Rivera did not follow thru when it came to the prosecution of Darryl Richardson and now she's dead. Is it possible that the public humilation factor of having domestic violence stats released to Block Watch groups so that the neighbors know will reduce domestic violence? Even if details are not released, chances are neighbors probably already have an idea of what is happening behind closed doors. Flashing back to I believe a Dateline program that had hidden video of a spouse being physically /threatened abused in a public location and noting how many people just walked by without responding as well as the few that did that suggested not to stop but a public location was not the "appropriate" place for such a dispute makes me wonder at how willing people are to call the police.

Then, even if the police are called, it is up to the victim the majority of the times to follow thru and it's been suggested statistically that just leaving may increase the chance of being abused and/or killed. If you stay with a spouse or partner who has beaten you, chances are that behavior is not just a one time occurrence. Your choices are not easy if you are in that situation, especially if you have children and even if you don't? You want to believe that it won't happen again, some even blame themselves, "If I did this better maybe then...". Ms. Santiago suggested:

Ms. Santiago said reporting domestic violence incidents at Block Watch meetings would make neighbors more alert, which might provide police with witness testimony they can use to prosecute an assailant when a victim fails to appear in court.

"If a neighbor hears an argument getting out of hand, that neighbor can play a big role in the case not being dismissed," Ms. Santiago said.

Witnesses came forward with information regarding various aspects of Ms. Rivera's assault, said Toledo police Sgt. Tim Noble.

How many neighbors are going to want to testify against another neighbor, especially if the injured partner refuses to testify? In an ideal world, of course people would, but we don't live in an ideal world. We live in a world where the whole attitude towards Domestic Violence is part of the reason it exists. It also appears there were other people who knew that Lori Rivera had and was being abused.

There are no easy solutions, but the real answer to ending or reducing domestic violence lies with reaching out to the victims. Helping them to somehow have the courage to not only follow thru with pressing charges but to realize no one deserves to be abused and no one should allow it to happen to them. I'm not sure if the death of Lori Rivera should become a campaign issue or as a press conference by a candidate, as I'm pretty sure none of our Toledo City Council Candidates are going to come out in support of Domestic Violence. However, I would suggest that programs in existance like the Domestic Violence Taskforce be supported. Perhaps better communication with Block Watches with the Task Force would help to let not only victims but neighbors know what is in place as far as assistance for those who are abused might help. Perhaps public education from the Task Force as to the real facts concerning Domestic Violence might help. Perhaps the Domestic Violence Task Force could also update their website...